How to Get Past Regrets
by Rick Warren

Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. Isaiah 43:18-19 (MSG)

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How often do you play the “If only” game?

· If only I could do it over again.

· If only I had listened sooner.

· If only I could erase the past.

· If only I could forgive myself.

The thing to remember is that no one is perfect. We all have regrets; we’ve all made bad choices, and said foolish things; we’ve all wasted time, and hurt ourselves and others.

How do you release your regrets? In my experience as a pastor, I’ve seen several strategies we tend to use that simply do not work:

· You try to bury your past. But burying the past will never help you get past your regrets. You can try to minimize (“It wasn’t a big deal”), rationalize (“Everyone does it”), and compromise (lowering standards), but your regrets are still there, and if unresolved, they’ll keep coming back to haunt you over and over again like a creature in a horror movie.

· We blame others. This tactic is as old as Adam and Eve. When Adam sinned, he took it like a man: he blamed his wife!We use blame to balance out our guilt.

· We beat up on ourselves. We try to pay for our guilt unconsciously through illness, depression, setting ourselves up for failure, and other forms of self-punishment. The problem with beating up on yourself is this: your conscience never knows when to stop!Some people spend their entire lives in self-condemnation.

What does God want you to do with your regrets?

· Admit your guilt. Own up to it.Don’t make excuses. “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful.But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance”(Proverbs 28:13 LB).

· Accept Christ’s forgiveness. He’s waiting to clean your slate.Ask him to clear your conscience. “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1 NIV).

· Forgive yourself and focus on the future. “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands” (Isaiah 43:18-19 MSG).

© 2008 Purpose Driven Life. All rights reserved

The Dearest Friend!

                    I have a Friend in Jesus,
                    He's ever walking near
                    To share my every burden
                    And take away my fear.

                    It's in His precious name I pray
                    To our God above;
                    It's through His sacred teachings that
                    I learned the way to love.

                    God did not put me on this earth
                    To walk life's path alone;
                    He sent His Son to be my Guide,
                    The dearest Friend I've known.

                    No other One could be so true,
                    He bore the cross for me;
                    Because He died for my sins
                    I must ever faithful be.
     
                    If you are lonely on life's way
                    And feel that no one cares,
                    You have a Friend in Jesus
                    If you will kneel in prayer.
                                           Poet, Kay Hoffman

THE GRANDFATHER' S TABLE

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in- law, and four-year
old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and
his step faltered. The family ate together at the table, but the elderly
grandfather' s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas
rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled
on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in- law became irritated with the mess. "We must do
something about Grandfather, " said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled
milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor." Therefore, the husband and wife
set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest
of the family enjoyed dinner. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two,
his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in
Grandfather' s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.
Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he
dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the
father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the
child sweetly, "What are you making?"

Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you
and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and
went back to work.

The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears
started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew
what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather' s hand and gently led him back to
the family table. For the remainder of his days, he ate every meal with the
family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any
longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever
listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see
us patiently, provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will
imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes
that every day the building blocks are being laid for the child's future.
Let us be wise builders and role models.

-- Author Unknown

THE CLIFF HANGER

A man named Jack was walking along a steep cliff one day when he
accidentally got too close to the edge and fell. On the way down he grabbed
a branch, which temporarily stopped his fall. He looked down and, to his
horror, saw that the canyon fell straight down for more than a thousand
feet. He couldn't hang onto the branch forever, and there was no way for him
to climb up the steep wall of the cliff.

So Jack began yelling for help, hoping that someone passing by would hear
him and lower a rope or something. HELP! HELP! Is anyone up there? "HELP!"
He yelled for a long time, but no one heard him. He was about to give up
when he heard a voice.

"Jack, Jack. Can you hear me?"

"Yes, yes! I can hear you. I'm down here!"

"I can see you, Jack. Are you all right?"

"Yes, but who are you, and where are you?

"I am the Lord, Jack. I'm everywhere."

"The Lord? You mean, GOD?"

"That's Me."

"God, please help me! I promise if, you'll get me down from here, I'll stop
sinning. I'll be a really good person. I'll serve You for the rest of my
life."

Easy on the promises, Jack. Let's get you off from there; then we can talk."
"Now, here's what I want you to do. Listen carefully."

"I'll do anything, Lord. Just tell me what to do."

"Okay. Let go of the branch."

"What?"

"I said, let go of the branch." Just trust Me. Let go."

There was a long silence. Finally Jack yelled, "HELP! HELP! IS ANYONE ELSE
UP THERE?"

Have you ever felt like Jack? We say that we want to know the will of God,
but when we find out what it is, we can't handle it. Sounds too scary--too
difficult. We decide to look elsewhere. When He says, "Let go of the things
that stand between you and Me, and trust Me with your life," it sounds
pretty scary. But when we let go, we find freedom and safety in His hands."

Thank you. Have a Blessed Day . . . and remember that Jesus Loves You and
so do I--and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, except to pass
it on . . . and GOD BLESS YOU!

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has
prepared for those who love him." (1 Corinthians 2:9)

-- Author Unknown

THE BRICKS OF LIFE

About ten years ago, a young and very successful executive named Josh was
traveling down a Chicago neighborhood street. He was going a bit too fast in
his sleek, black, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE, which was only two months old. He
was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down
when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no child darted out,
but a brick sailed out and-WHUMP! – it smashed into the Jag's shiny black
side door! SCREECH...!! !! Brakes slammed! Gears ground into reverse, and
tires madly spun the Jag back to the spot from where the brick had been
thrown.

Josh jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid and pushed him up against a
parked car. He shouted at the kid, "What was that all about and who are you?
Just what the heck are you doing?" Building up a head of steam, he went on.
"That's my new Jag, that brick you threw is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Why did you throw it?"

"Please, mister, please...I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do!" pleaded
the youngster. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop!" Tears
were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car. "It's
my brother, mister," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his
wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Sobbing, the boy asked the executive,
"Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and
he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the young executive tried desperately to swallow the
rapidly swelling lump in his throat. Straining, he lifted the young man back
into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and
cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be OK. He then watched
the younger brother push him down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long walk back to the sleek, black, shining, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE
- a long and slow walk. Josh never did fix the side door of his Jag. He kept
the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to
throw a brick at him to get his attention.

Some bricks are softer than others. Feel for the bricks of life coming at
you. For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has
positive answers:

You say: "It's impossible."
God says: All things are possible. (Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired."
God says: I will give you rest. (Matt 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me."
God says: I love you. (John 3:16 & 13:34)

You say: "I can't go on."
God says: My grace is sufficient. (II Cor 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out."
God says: I will direct your steps. (Prov 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it."
God says: You can do all things. (Phil 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able."
God says: I am able. (II Cor 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it."
God says: It will be worth it. (Rom 8:28)

You say: "I can't forgive myself."
God says: I FORGIVE YOU. (I John 1:9 & Rom 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage."
God says: I will supply all your needs. (Phil 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid."
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear. (2 Tim 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated."
God says: Cast all your cares on ME. (I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I don't have enough faith."
God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith. (Rom 12:3)

You say: "I'm not smart enough."
God says: I give you wisdom. (I Cor 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone."
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you. (Heb 13:5)

Pass this on, you never know whose life maybe in need of this today!

-- Author Unknown

THANK YOU LORD

Lord, thank you for this sink of dirty dishes; we have plenty of food to
eat.

Thank you for this pile of dirty, stinky laundry; we have plenty of nice
clothes to wear.

And I would like to thank you, Lord, for those unmade beds; they were so
warm and comfortable last night. I know that many have no bed.

My thanks to you, Lord, for this bathroom, complete with all the splattered
mirrors, soggy, grimy towels and dirty lavatory; they are so convenient.

Thank you for this finger-smudged refrigerator that needs defrosting so
badly; It has served us faithfully for many years. It is full of cold
drinks and enough leftovers for two or three meals.

Thank you, Lord, for this oven that absolutely must be cleaned today. It has
baked so many things over the years.

The whole family is grateful for that tall grass that needs mowing, the lawn
that needs raking; we all enjoy the yard.

Thank you, Lord, even for that slamming screen door. My kids are healthy
and able to run and play.

Lord, the presence of all these chores awaiting me says You have richly
blessed my family. I shall do them cheerfully and I shall do them
gratefully.

-- Author Unknown

SIX YEAR OLD'S PRAYER

Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son had asked
if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good. God is
great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets
us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all, amen."

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman
remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know
how to pray. Asking God for ice-cream. Why, I never."

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is
God mad at me?"

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was
certainly not mad at him.

An elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I
happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?", my son asked. Then in a theatrical whisper he added (indicating
the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never
asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared
at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my
life.

He picked up his sundae and without a word walked over and placed it in
front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you.
Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes, and my soul is good already."

-- Author Unknown

God's Patience
1 Timothy 1:12-16

If God were impatient, we would all experience immediate wrath for sin. Imagine living in constant fear of doing something wrong! Fortunately for mankind, His patience is great.

One reason that the Lord shows mercy is because He knows we have a fallen nature. Just as a toddler has to learn obedience, God's children also must learn to walk in His ways. He takes pleasure in watching us do what is right; therefore, He allows us time and room for mistakes.

Paul appreciated God's patience. His life demonstrated that because the Father is slow to anger, unbelievers have a much greater opportunity for salvation (1 Tim. 1:16).  

In Romans 2:4, the apostle affirms that our heavenly Father's kindness and mercy lead to repentance. But in the following verse, he warns those with stubborn hearts that they will experience judgment and consequence. In other words, the warning is that God's patience will at some point run out if someone continuously sins against Him.

In the Old Testament, the nation of Israel repeatedly experienced this painful truth. The people turned away from the Lord and did evil in His sight by worshiping idols. God patiently tolerated their waywardness so that they would return to Him, but eventually, He withdrew His protection until they'd cry out and return to Him. 

Is there sin in your life that you haven't confessed? Be thankful that God has been slow to anger. And be wise: do not test the limits of His patience. 

TEN LITTLE CHRISTIANS

Ten little Christians standing in a line,
One disliked the pastor, then there were nine.
Nine little Christians stayed up very late,
One slept in on Sunday, then there were eight.

Eight little Christians on their way to heaven,
One took the low road, then there were seven.
Seven little Christians chirping like chicks,
One disliked the music, then there were six.

Six little Christians seemed very much alive,
But one lost his interest, then there were five.
Five little Christians pulling for Heaven's shore,
But one stopped to rest, then there were four.

Four little Christians, each busy as a bee,
One got her feelings hurt, then there were three.
Three little Christians knew what to do,
One joined the sports crowd, then there were two.

Two little Christians, our rhyme is nearly done,
Differed with each other, then there was one.
One little Christian can't do much 'tis true;
Brought his friend to Bible study, then there were two.

Two earnest Christians, each won one more,
That doubled their number, then there were four.
Four sincere Christians worked early and late,
Each won another, then there were eight.

Eight little Christians, if they doubled as before,
In just a few short weeks, we'd have 1,024.
In this little jingle, there's a lesson true,
You belong to the building, or the wrecking crew.

-- Author Unknown

Defining Unforgiveness 
Matthew 5:23-24

Now that we've looked at forgiveness, let's think about unforgiveness--the deliberate decision to cling to 1) resentment you feel toward someone else and 2) your right to get even any way you can. It's a mindset that says, "You hurt me. You must pay."

What an ungodly, unscriptural attitude! And yet it is painfully evident in the hearts of far too many Christians. Therefore, we need to uncover the dark truth behind this destructive landmine. Unforgiveness . . .

• Demonstrates unwillingness to extend to others what the Lord has extended to you (Eph. 4:32). It simply means saying with your attitude that you refuse to show the grace and forgiveness of Christ to anyone else.

• Plants a root of bitterness in your heart. It may start with some simple resentment because of the way someone else acted. Then, that little seed of animosity begins to grow. Before long, a whole crop of anger, malice, and bitterness completely dominates you. If it is not dealt with early, these bitter fruits will spoil every part of your life.

• Prevents your becoming the person God wants you to be. An unforgiving spirit makes it impossible to accomplish what the heavenly Father has in mind for you. How can you expect to grow in Christ while willfully allowing bitterness to erode your heart?

The results of withholding forgiveness are obvious, and yet many believers stumble into this very trap. Don't fall for it. Ask God to help you release any unforgiveness you have, and be reconciled to your brothers and sisters without delay.

The Landmine of Unforgiveness 
Ephesians 4:26-32

What is your first response when someone hurts you? Maybe you want to retaliate. Or perhaps your outward attitude doesn't change, but inside you are quietly nursing a dark bitterness and resentment. These reactions strike us as understandable and perfectly natural, don't they?

In reality, however, unforgiveness is one of the most destructive behaviors possible. Impacting every prayer, every relationship, and practically every thought you have, it is a land mine with the potential to completely destroy your life.

Scripture is clear that we are to openly and willingly forgive anyone who causes us harm. Why? The reason is that we ourselves have been forgiven. The grace that God pours out on each of us should be our motivation and example. If we have received God's loving pardon, then we simply must do the same for others, even when it seems difficult or unfair.

What is forgiveness? Simply put, it is the act of giving up resentment toward someone, along with the desire to retaliate. In other words, we must surrender three things: the general feeling of resentment, the specific feelings toward a particular individual, and all claims to retribution.

Forgiveness is far more than a simple "I forgive you" statement. It involves a total change of action and an attitude that declares, "Though you wronged me, I love and forgive you. I wish you the best and will help you however I can." Can you make this statement after being hurt? Pray for those who wrong you, and release your resentment.

The Lesson of Brokenness 
2 Corinthians 4:7-10

No one enjoys the feeling of brokenness, but we cannot ignore its wonderful benefits to our spiritual growth. Being broken gives us an entirely new perspective on the Lord's plan for our lives. You see, enjoying a steady, uninterrupted stream of blessings has an interesting effect on most people: it distorts our view of the Father, often leaving us to assume He exists for us.

We ask God for healing, for success, for financial security. We ask Him to bless our family and our relationships. We ask and ask and ask. And the truth is, much of the time we aren't really talking to the Lord at all. Instead, we've replaced Him with some sort of cosmic errand boy--we tell Him what we want and then send Him off to get it for us.

In all of this, who is actually at the center of our prayers? It certainly isn't almighty God, our eternal Savior and Creator of the universe. No, instead we find ourselves at the center of these prayers. Therefore, the end result is the subtle belief that God exists for our benefit. This distortion breaks God's heart and leads us far away from truly knowing Him for who He really is.

The antidote for this self-centered idolatry is brokenness. When God says "No," when He takes away instead of adding more, when He divinely manages what we have, how much we have, and how long we have it, He is helping us keep our eyes on Him. Do not despise these moments. Instead, recognize them as the voice of your Father calling you back into His loving arms.

The Path of Brokenness 
John 12:24

Today's verse gives a beautiful illustration of brokenness: "Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." That is, only by falling and breaking can a single grain produce a rich crop. If it remains isolated and protected, it will never produce anything.

That's how the Lord works to mature His children. He breaks us in order to bring spiritual growth and supernatural ministry into our lives. And the process is always the same: 

1. He targets the areas in which we are not submissive to Him. 
2. He arranges the circumstances and selects the tools with which to break self-sufficiency.
3. He controls the pressure and timing of those circumstances to bring us back into His will. 

If we refuse to be re-formed through this brokenness and instead cling to whatever God wants us to release, then He will put us on the shelf. Just like the single, unbroken grain of wheat, we will become fruitless and alone. Yet we resist brokenness at every turn. We want to hang on to the things we think bring joy. We want to persist in relationships that are stunting our spiritual growth. We want to take the path of least resistance and hope that God will bless our laziness. My friend, this is not the road to maturity that our Father has prepared for us.

Brokenness hurts. The Word, however, proclaims that it hurts far more not to be broken. Don't be distracted by short-term happiness. Look where your Father is leading you and let Him do whatever it takes to get you there.

Our Basis for Security During Hardship 
Romans 8:31

Perhaps right now, even as you read these words, you are experiencing heaviness of heart. You might be facing unbelievable hardships that no one else knows about. Maybe you are beginning a day that you know will be a challenge or ending a day that knocked you off your feet. Be encouraged, my friend. You are not alone.

Whether you're on top of the world or down in the dumps today, try this little exercise. Say aloud, "If God is for us, who is against us?" (Rom. 8:31). Say it again. Repeat it over and over until it becomes a part of you. Let this biblical challenge ring forth from within your spirit and echo through the chasm of your troubles. "If God is for us, who is against us?"

First Peter 1:5 reminds us we are under God's protection. Think about what that means: absolutely nothing can touch us unless God allows it. Moreover, Jesus promises us in John 15:4 that as we remain in Him, He remains in us. We are protected through and through! We have an almighty defender standing between us and the world. It is as though the Father says to our Enemy, "If you want My child, you've got to come through Me first."

Whatever hardship comes into our lives must first pass through God's divine, all-loving hands. Of course, we may still experience hurt and loss, but we'll be aware that our Father has permitted it for some higher purpose. And in that, we'll know that we have the power to overcome--and never have to face the struggle alone.

The Foundation of Our Security 
1 Peter 1:1-5

Do you sometimes feel a bit lost in the world--as if you're all alone, facing tremendous obstacles? Most people feel this way from time to time. However, if you've placed your faith in Jesus Christ, you have a solid foundation that cannot be shaken, regardless of what life throws at you.

In today's passage, Peter wants to encourage believers who are heading into persecution, so he opens his letter of hope and assurance with a strong statement of faith. Though our circumstances may be different, we, too, should hear the Word's promise of security.

Peter first reminds us that we are "chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father" (vv. 1-2). The message is clear: You are not in this situation by accident. Your faith, successes, and failures are no surprise to God. He knew you fully from the beginning of time and chose you to be with Him forever.

Second, the apostle shows that we are subject to the ongoing sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit. In other words, we do not have to find the way by ourselves. The Spirit of God is with us step by step, leading and guiding us into maturity in Christ.

Finally, Peter assures us that we are cleansed by Jesus' blood. Our mistakes, misgivings, and missteps have been forgiven, permanently washed away at the cross. As new creations, we're free to walk eternally with a perfect God.

The timeless message of the Bible is that we are not alone. We can face any trial in the power of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. With the Triune God behind us, we can boldly claim victory over any obstacle